情绪不稳定 精神分裂 >.<

这两三天。。。
一些事情和决定的变化
令我感觉到好像有点精神分裂
情绪一时ok
然后又可以变得超低落
本来找到了我应该走的路
应该是一件好事
不过却就因为要再由低做起（这个我完全不介意，还觉得挺好的）
工钱会大大的减低
令我不知道那些要还的债
应该怎么处理？！
好想哭。。。又是钱所害的困扰！

kids: part 2

never thought a trip to the clinic left me thinking so much...
or is it the coming of age?...arghzz...:PPP
(need to smack this into my own head: stop dreaming, u r still a big kid urself..and si, this thought is just kidding u;PPP)
i'm a big joker aint i?

anyway yeah...in fact it is not only about the patience and time and everything needed to nurture a good child...there are certain things that you just can't control....for example...how many people have ever thought of what would they do if their child happened to be borned as a special child....I asked myself this question after I saw such child in the clinic...and seriously I have no answer...maybe I would end up so depresssed and helpless that I'll go insane?...I have doubts that I'll be able to accept...but I dont know still...

perhaps there is something special about child-bearing, about pregnancy...that after 40 weeks...regardless of how ur child turn out to be, u'll do everything u can to protect him, to give the best in the world to him...I guess this is probably it...or is it??

lately I had thoughts lamenting being a female...the monthly mood swings is getting terrible...I never had much problem with PMS until I was guessing after 25...yeah a year ago i think...and I notice that I have slight depression everytime nearing the time of the month...now that I'm working, it seriously will affect things...but then again, there are things special about being a lady I guess...haha, anyway not my choice of whether to be or not to be a lady:PP (will start to talk rubbish soon so better end here)

the day when you have your own kids

the other day I went to the orthoptist's to have my eyes checked
as lazy eyes/squint is a common thing in kids, I see a lot of kids on every visit
but on Wednesday...there is this little boy (I think he's seven, from his conversation with his mum and an aunt sitting next to him)...
so what is it about this little boy?
well, he's a little...I wont say it's hyperactive...but kind of overly active...
his mum appeared like a very proper mother
but from the behaviour of the son, I bet every other person in the room could tell...
(this tells how parents influence their kids and how kids reflect their parents, no joke man)
some of the tiny details...(ah well, just so bad of me, like I'm badmouthing people) but well, if any of u out there, could benefit from this, then it's worth of me doing this evil badmouthing job for once...
this kid...ok, i shall use 'little boy' so as not to appear so rude;PPP
so yeah, this little boy...he was very impatient as it was a pretty long wait...(he was the 3rd patient and I am the 5th, I wonder what time he reaches with his mum but I got there like about 9.15am and I only got to see the orthoptist at 11am
...so yeah, due to the impatience, his certainly was not in a very good temper...but he still has his temper under control...but he's looking for things to play with, there are books in the room...and the thing is that when he describes things...he would use the word "stupid"...so you could imagine him saying..."mummy, look at this stupid xxx...that stupid xxx...and this word is decorating almost every other sentence uttered by him....
apart from that he's practically trying to poke his hands onto everything and walk into some restricted areas, etc...which the nurse constantly had to stop him (his mum kept quiet most of the time, as if just allowing his son to freely do whatever he likes)...you could see that the nurse is really annoyed at one point of time...
....nevermind...
it came to the point where this special child came (a retarded young boy, maybe 5 years of age or even younger)...and the nurse asked everyone if it is ok to allow the special child to go in for consultation first...well, what can you say at this point right, so everyone was like replying by facial expression (it's ok:forced expression)
...and then guess what...dear little boy, in a very annoyed tone, said to his mum, NO! and then began saying something like ..how can he cut the line? I need to go to school...etc (at this point his mum was a little embarassed, and kept asking him to behave himself; I guess that is more for us to listen...and when the special child was carried into the consultation room by his guardians, dear boy said in an unbelievable tone, something like "look! he's cutting the line"...

well, conclusion...every little thing this little boy did or said really reflected on the mum in this case, (imagine after they left, I heard the nurse saying something like, the mum is a teacher and yet so impatient and the son is having such behaviour)...well, of course nothing is perfect...but then again, seriously, kids reflect their parents...

which left me wondering...what would happen if I have my own kids next time...I won't by any chance want them to behave even 1% of how the boy behaved..it's really scary if you know what i mean...and I was thankful that my parents brought me up well (mum's fulltime housewife, perhaps that's why)...I guess if I were to have my own kids in the future, I'll discard every other to be a full time mother, if financial conditions allow....ah, there, see my IF...oh, hate this...

前世犯了什么错令我有如此的今生？！

刚刚和大舅母在msn live-chat
她说了一些话
令我好难过
我知道她无心令我伤心的，也不知道她这样说了会令我难过
其实我自己有时候也会这样问自己
我到低是不是前世范了好大的错误
令我今生有这样的‘下场’？

大舅母问我，爸爸最近在干什么？
我当然也答不到，
我这半年来。。。一句话都没跟爸爸说
妈妈和妹妹都不理他在干什么了
然后舅母就说
我是在表弟妹们中最不幸运的那个
连我妹妹都是比我幸福的 （因为她可以不管我爸爸，不受他摆布，也不理什么其它问题）
我最不幸运的是因为生在一个这样的家（有个像我爸爸如此不生性的一家之主的家庭）
然后就开始说其他表弟妹们怎么幸福，活得多好
一个一个的数。。。这个多好，那个又多好
我当时忍哭忍得多辛苦
声音也发抖了
不过舅母完全没发觉
因为她忙着说我表弟妹们（包括她的儿女）
还好我还是忍到
我不能在他们任何一个人的面前哭
不能那么丢脸
我要争气
不能败在他们面前

舅母还问了我（因为我爸爸）欠多少钱
也说爸爸跟他们（亲戚）借的钱就最好咯
因为不用还？！
只要我以后对他们好就可以了？！
我感觉到这句是令有意思的，就是爸爸跟他们借的
就由我来还
当然，不用说我也很久以前都有这个念头了
我不想欠任何人的钱！

本来不想说
不过我还是忍不住要在这里发泄
我是人来的！
有感觉，会难过！会伤心的！
而且这个也不能跟妈妈谈，因为一定会令她难过
还好开始写日记了还有个可以帮助自己处理心情的频道

其实在多一个月就毕业可以回家了
一方面好开心可以和家人团聚
不过我知道开心的日子不会久
所以也真的有一点不想会去

我以前在家时候
有时候这些问题令爸爸，妈妈和我自己烦到极点的时候
而我又连想逃避一下，去跟朋友去喝茶都不想浪费钱
所以就还是困在家里
那些你看我看你只觉得烦死的心情的时候
可能很快又会面对到的了

我有时候好伤心，好无奈那时
我心里就会问上天
我到低世犯了什么大错，上天要令我今生走这样的路
几年前，还小，不够坚强，试过跟自己说死了就算
真的，有时候很不想活

几年后的现在
问题依然存在，没改善，也许也变得更坏
不过还好我变得坚强多了
不知道是什么力量帮我撑着
虽然有时候还是很想死
不过还是舍不得这个美好的世界
舍不得家人
舍不得朋友
同时自己也知道我的前途是有的
所以也常常跟自己说不能容易放弃

我希望，老天爷给了一条这样的路我走
也许想惩罚我，锻炼我也好
希望它留着一条生路
让我能走下去。。。
不过有时候还是很不甘元
我从小到大都这么乖
为什么这样对我？
就算是前世欠的
都还清了吧？

我好挂住的Juliette~~

刚刚和Juliette MSN..终于可以跟她舒服地谈天了..已经好久好久没聊了！
她因为要准备从澳洲会马来西亚所以辞职了才会有时间上网聊天..
除了知道了她这一年半两年来大概的近况
最终也谈到了我的身上
所以也是避不了谈到我家的问题
又谈到眼湿湿..唉..
不过也真的谈了之后轻松点
还是那句，一只以来都好谢谢，好珍惜朋友们对我的关心
坦白说，Juliette是那么多位之中最懂的反应的
因为她也廷明白我的状况
不过她还是不明为什么那么多年
情况都还是没有改善过
这点其实好多人，不只朋友，连一些亲戚也不明的
我也不懂怎么解释
要问就要去问我爸爸了我想
不过我大概可以说他也不会解释道的
说回Juliette...
我每次想到她都还会想起他大概在我们Form2那时候
对我做了一个我意想不到的事
那年过年时，她代表她家给了我一封利事
她在利事封上面写了几句我今世都不会忘的。。
大概是说：钱虽然不多，不过是代表了她和家人的关心
我那时简直是感动到哭，哭，哭。。。
我到现在还把那利事封收着
也不用拿出来看，我每次想到都会感动得眼湿湿
对我来说意义好大好大。。是大到衡量不到的

对人好难道不是人与人之间一种基本的事吗？

今天有三位从Dublin Junior Batch的同学来到了Gent．．．
Christina (Canada)
Kae (Thailand)
Sweety (India)－呵呵，我应该没搞错她的名字。。。好可爱的名字;P
大概两个礼拜前，Monika和Ingrid已经托我交锁匙给她们的．．．
今天早上我刚刚吃完早餐不久他们就到了我家门外；Ｐ　
（Monika简直是叫他们从火车站搭的士直接来到我家门口;P）
然后也当然不是给了锁匙就丢下人家不里啦。。。
他们每个都住在不同的地方，所以带他们看每个人的地方（方便他们以后要找彼此）
然后就带了他们去看看学校：课室，教授office，Ingrid:负责我们accommodation的的office，食堂．．．）
然后Christina说餓了，就带了他们去买吃的　（他们都买了好出名的Belgian Fries:一定要和Mayonnaise一起吃的；P）
之后也带了他们去看看不同的supermarkets，让他们买一些食物，用品etc
顺便解释了一些住在比利时这里需要知道的东西
买完了东西已经3点多了，然后也要赶去另一边的地方，让他们买adapter，要不然今晚就用不到电脑和电话充不到电了
顺便也带了他们去看看Asian supermarket，那他们以后就知道怎么去了
顺便也让他们在那边看看shopping的地方。。。Sweety穿的boots让她走了大半天好不舒服，所以就好急的买了一双运动鞋
然后也陪他们逛逛，讲解下搭电车，火车etc的．．
就这样。。。不知不觉早上11点就变了晚上7点．．
我都忘了吃午餐，肚子也忘了叫餓。。我没在外面买吃的。。要省钱嘛;P
晚了，大家回来我的房间拿东西，然后回去各自的地方
他们走之前一直跟我说谢谢
其实他们一整天都在跟我说谢谢。。。
其实我都不觉得我帮了太大的忙
也只不过是让她们知道了一些我知道的东西，让他们方便一点
顺便为他们当导游，让他们知道这里的地方，也不用第一天在不熟悉的地方迷路
他们就因为这样一直说我很好人，太好人了。。。
其实就算我不是学生代表，我也会这样做的。。。
XH说我很傻（陪了他们走了一整天,还有好像是Ingrid和Monika应该做的，现在推给了我）
其实我觉得也不是谁跟谁的责任，我是学生，大家跟我沟通会舒服点，同时帮Ingrid和Monika做点事也不是什么问题。。他们那么忙。。。跟何况在外面走走对我也是好运动，哈哈！）
最重要的还是，我想如果自己是新学生的话
到了一个完全不熟悉的地方（又完全没有英文或者自己看得懂的东西的地方）
如果有人这样对待我，我一定会很感谢，很安慰，很开心。。。
所以我觉得如果我能做一些些事，帮助他们容易融入这里的环境
我觉得很应该去做。。
这个也不是什么学生代表的责任
(Christina说到了如果是Dublin那边的学生代表的话，一定不会像我这样招待新到的学生, 不过其实我们也没有真正写下学生代表的job scope，所做的都是自己认为因该做的事）

听了他们说的，听了XH说的。。
我心想。。做这些所谓的‘对人好’的行为
难道不是做人的一种基本的本分吗？
大家活在这个世界。。不是一个人的世界。。
人与人之间最基本的就是要对待彼此好
自己要人家怎么对待自己，就怎么去对待人家
这个小学都学过了。。。
不过为什么大家都好象不觉得这样是应该的呢？
好像要人家对你好是一种很难的事？

我记得有一次（同时也不太记得是在那里，是什么事情。。不过好像模糊地想到是Chef Hoo: Pangkor Laut Resort的Exec Chef，我工作时认识到的）
我和我同事去那边工作时候他对我们非常非常的好，就像对待自己儿女一样的照顾我和我同事，令我们觉得好感谢，好开心，甚至好幸福！
因为这些对我好的人，令我常常觉得　（我知道很幼稚）如果世界上每个人都能对待别人好一点，那就真的是可以让这个世界变得更美好
我是绝对相信这个的
我受了人家对我的好
我会很想同样的。。对别人好

也同时令我想到。。像我一个能力这么有限的人
不能做什么大事，不过如果我能做一些小小的事
让我身边的人，让我认识到的人开心点
那也活得比较有意思;P (不好意思我就是怎么的幼稚:P)

呵呵，又写了一大堆的废话
我发觉晚上写东西会写得很啰嗦:P
因为晚上的心情比较丰富;P

还是去睡了．．．明天还有七位会到
要有足够的精神和体力来迎接他们;P

热心帮人。。。

刚刚和一位新朋友msn了一下，结果搞到自己有点气。。
因为这位朋友怕我太热心想帮他可能会坏了他的事。。
把我想成什么人了。。feels like a little bit of an insult...

我是热心帮人不过同时也是个廷有分寸的人
I roughly know what I should and should not do at the right time...
还有我一般不选人来帮，谁需要帮助，说一声，我就会尽量去帮．．．
我为什么怎么热心帮人。。。
我从小，爸爸就常说。。。谁需要帮忙而自己也有能力的话就要尽量去帮
而且想帮就是不要问太多，帮就帮。。。
（这个，妈妈是不同意的；Ｐ其实我也觉得帮人要有限度，爸爸以前热心帮人，现在他状况变坏，那些什么朋友都当作不认识他了．．．）
不过我还是很受爸爸的影响
所以从小都习惯了
我记得幼稚园时候，常常帮朋友们画画（练习簿常常要画一些图的，我能画，大家又喜欢叫我帮他们，我帮人自己开心，大家也开心。。我觉得很好。。）
就是这样从小培养回来
...有一次，一个太学同学没带午餐，虽然自己只带两块面包，我也把自己的分了一半给她
还有一次，好姐妹szeling想申请日本MBA讲学金，要写好多短essays。她找我帮她edit,我那时其实也很忙，不过也先帮她赶她的essays。。虽然自己不熟悉MBA的东西，不过好姐妹说一声，一定尽我所能地去帮...(不过然后她最后还是放弃不申请了，让我说了大半天;PP)

不过当然长大了很多事情也变得复杂
帮人也要小心　（妈妈常常担心我会因为这样热上不需要的麻烦，的确刚不久也发生了这样的事情）
还有不幸云时候会被人利用
不过也没关系，因为很多时候换我会不知不觉得到很多很好很好的友情
所以我绝对相信热心帮别人是美太大问题的
不过我也不是真得人人都帮。。。我只帮一些会帮助自己的人
对于一些只要利用我的人如果让我知道了就不会再理他们的了
不过对于家人和真心的朋友，我是可以不顾自己的利益去帮他们的
but of course, there are exceptions and things are not always on such a serious note anyway...
I dont not expect anything in return but the very least is that the person believe that I am sincere in all that I do...

现在也在帮人家忙。。。替Monika和Ingrid迎接新来的学生（因为他们都相信我的为人才会放心的交那么多间房的钥匙给我）
Elizabeth要离开3个星期也放心地把东西放在我房间．．．
．．．都不知道自己气什么．．．可能是被人家怀疑自己的可信程度而不爽吧...
算了，认识我的人都知道我是什么样的人．．．
（不过当然刚刚认识的朋友肯定要时间去探测，自己也会这样。。）

所以算啦。。呵呵，去看戏了，轻松轻松下！

a happi morning..

...got online first thing in the morning as usual...
...and was so happy seeing Christy adding me on facebook...
...well although I do receive emails from her time to time...but i was the lazy one, didnt reply so sometimes we do 'lost' contact...;P (sorry ar, Christy...)
so in a way it's always good to be hooked up through more channels...
...and lately i'm getting more involved with facebook (i reluctantly created an account this year, hehehe, since i already had friendster i thought it's more than enough...but well I was indeed wrong because networks are so important the more the better...)
...Christy is the assistant manager whom I am under during my three months stint in Elken's Purchasing Dept...wondering what a food science background gal doing in a purchasing dept? hehe...i came back from melbourne after cancelling my research master there, and was preparing for my european master study...had a few months so looked for a job...and had a very nice time in Elken under Christy's care...and the rest of the colleagues in the dept were very very nice too ^__^
hehe...again I am very grateful and thankful to people around me who are always taking care of me like a little sister...hehe, it feels very nice and warm becoz i am the eldest in the family, and even one of the eldest among my friends, so these somehow compensate for my yearning for an elder sibling...;P

一个令我很感动的clip

这个片断也许对其他人没什么意思
不过我却深深地被感动了。。。
因为阿wing也说出了自己的心声
（谢谢你阿wing！）

嘉乐，你给大家那份亲切感我相信每一个都会珍惜的;-)


想看那个clip的话，请到嘉乐的blog:
http://www.kalokwong.blogspot.com/

***************************
15th Dec 2007
看了青青的留言令我想补充几句
我看了wing的clip除了好感动好感动以外
也有一点点guilty feelings。。。
因为我不懂怎么弄那些需要一些心思的东西
。。。我也不懂把自己想说的写成那些美的词
不过我想，嘉乐是感觉到每个人对他的支持的
每个人的表达方式都不同嘛。。。
不过人的感觉很神奇的。。。所以我觉得他会感受到的。。。
呵呵，本来想保持神秘的。。。我也有礼物要给你不过要尺下才能ready
不过也没什么特别的surprise啦。。。;P
只是我说过我会帮嘉乐你做的事
呵呵，可能你都猜到了。。。不过你也未必看到这篇post
那我就可以继续保持神秘...哈哈。。。

humans and politics...

正式黎讲，我当上学生代表静话两个月
不过所体验的事情已经足够令自己知道
人与人之间的politics可以非常恐怖
更加重要的就係知道自己完全不适合掂有关依方面的事情
已经唔再係小学中学做班长个仲情形
仲有两个月就毕业。。。相信哩两个月我应该唔会再领自己找麻烦。。。
毕业后的一年我的任务会係专注係宣传方面，所以唔会有太多politics的烦恼...

依排真係时时都会諗，自己如果係读兽医的话就好了
起码与动物相处简单多,唔会闹是非...
以前细个果阵成日话自己以后要係seaworld道同d海豚，海狗一起工作 （大家都认为我睇太多电视啦。。。不过依个都未够白痴，仲白痴的就係我以前好喜欢画画，所以亦有一排我的志愿係要做画家。。。我舅公听0左大概同我讲0左类似0甘0既话：你大个0左做画家，係0米想食菊种?；PPPP

不过我知道0甘样逃避现实都唔係办法
因为有人的地方就会有是非
为有叫自己醒目d...唔好咩都插手...同埋唔好乱0甘踩入d ‘tum'道...
唉,我个人真係麻烦...

经一事长一智

今日都算为个问题作0左个我认为‘至好的解决’方法
唔知係0迷真係可以安静一切
不过我諗到既唯有係0甘做
Ms Hil 唔认同我0甘做
妹妹更加係话我太冲动了
自己蓝晒上身，做英雄咩？
我完全唔介意，又唔会少块肉
而且我仲觉得我有责任
点都好，真係希望可以雨过天晴
这阵子为左依个问题令自己承受好大的压力
不过妈妈说的队，领了依个教分
我以后就会小心行事了
或者真係上天俾我上了一堂好经贵的lesson

容易受伤的双鱼座！带眼识人！

今日朝早非常难受，然后好彩同妈妈（妹妹都係旁边）经０左，讲出黎觉得舒服ｄ
然后头先亦收到我的‘贵人’ｈｉｌｄｅ的ｅｍａｉｌ，知道有她支持我，都觉得好ｄ
不过点都係觉得我的责任係有的。。。
同时也收到一封ｅｍａｉｌ来自一位我諗都諗唔到係她的人
也很大很大可能她就是害到我和我位朋友鸡毛鸭血的人
她仲係我地的‘同乡’，諗到都觉得方某。。。虽然如果真係她我已经不会觉得奇怪了因为受伤害那位朋友有估可能係她。。。
不过点都唔想（唔敢）相信。。。点解人可以０甘样？。。。我同她根本无怨无仇。。。
之前仲同她一齐上过一堂subject，除了觉得她有ｄ睇唔起我地一ｄ同学，我其实觉得她几ok，甚至有时几nice．．．果阵我这位受害的朋友已经话依个人‘唔係好友善的人’，不过果阵我就以平时认识新朋友的态度，都会给她benefit of doubt，只要她没对我点，我点解要认定她不友善呢？
结果依架。。如果真係她，我就真係令教到了。。。唔知係好０米上天要我带眼识人，俾我一个０甘既教分？
不过我都係觉得如果成日要忌住识人０米好辛苦？而且我以往的经验都没有让我失望过，我对人真，对人好，不期望人家会对我一样好，不过至少不会害我。。。我几相信依个就係令我去到边道都容易被接受的原因。。。我又唔係刻意去对人好，都係顺其自然ｊｅｈ．．．难道依个principle不能时时用？或者又係。。。真矛盾。。
不过我諗要我带眼识人真係唔係讲０甘易。。。做左０甘多年人。。。埃。。。
不过我諗一个０甘既事情又不应该完全令我对于认识新朋友带来压力。。。

另外諗既就係对于朋友的付出，係唔係又要次次都諗青諗楚呢？
我可以对我ｄ朋友完全付出多係因为我ｄ朋友也会为我着想　（0甘ａｍ果d朋友都係双鱼座；Ｐ）。。。
不过可能係因为大家都係好天真的时期就认识了，所以对彼此都係好真的。。。
不过唔通人大了，就真係‘要’变坏吗？不可以在真心地对待朋友？
其实自己都有ｄ惊，以后做野怕俾人backstab都会蒙查查唔知道仲当人係好朋友。。。
諗到都惊。。。
点都好，最起码我知道仲有我班傻婆支持我，撑我。。。当然仲有屋企人。。。

如果没有了妈妈。。。

不好意思我这个是一个很touchwood的话题。。。不过也真的让我想了一下。。。
其实为什么突然会想到这个，就是因为我在youtube看了一小段‘飞短流长父子兵’- 就是范天朗/天明的妈妈离开他们和他们爸爸的那段 （我想这段是整个剧里面最伤心的）。。。其中一段天朗（郑嘉颖）跟（还没能接收妈妈离去了的事实）的弟弟天明（黄嘉乐）说 （大概）。。。“妈妈不在了，照顾爸爸就靠我们了”。。。
这句让我停下来想了一想。。。如果（touchwood）发生在我身上。。。我会怎么办？说真得我自己真得没有答案 （也一直跟自己说不能发生在我身上！）。。。因为我会觉得什么都没了。。。自己也不想活了，没了妈妈真得什么都没意思了，自己的成绩再好也没意思了。。。没了妈妈就好像没了我的精神上的支持之柱。。。自己很多事情都会找妈妈谈（也可以说是无所不聊的）。。。妈妈也可能是最有耐心听我说话的人了（虽然有时候她对我说的废话都没什么兴趣）。。。一旦发生什么令自己不开心的事第一时间就是想到妈妈。。。因为只有妈妈能开解我。。。我也对妈妈的意见最有信心，她说的我一般都会觉得是很好的。。。虽然妈妈读书不多不过她是个很有智慧的人，她也不断的看报纸电视什么的提高自己的知识。。。所以很多时候我什么是遇到矛盾都会参考她。。。反正妈妈就好像我的指导和心理医生了。。。
。。。所以呢，一家人在一起是那么的重要。。。

。。。哎，天啊！我为什么晚上就是这样的呢？都想这样的事情。。。
。。。还是回去做点正经的东西了。。。

The dishonest Turkish man and discrimination...种族歧视！

I've always been buying fruits especially apples, as well as tomatoes from the turkish shop...they are way cheaper than the supermarket and are more or less similar in quality...however i really dislike the shopowner, a Turkish man, because he is always trying to cheat on me, always trying to charge a higher price when i pay, and i always have to ask him to re-calculate, i wonder how much he has cheated of my money initially before i started paying attention to the price he pressed on the cashier machine...i seriously prefer his wife who is more honest...
...dislike the fact that someone tries to cheat or take advantage of you because you are not able to argue or fight back as you dont know the language...(i only know a few words of Dutch, which is luckily sufficient in this case, but certainly not Turkish...)...the same thing happened in one of the supermarkets...the little ALDI here in Rabot where they always have the old price on the food items, and when you pay you realised then new price is higher...you try to tell them, and they ignore you and tell you to go off...i really think this is some sort discrimination...they discriminate because they think we (Asian/Chinese) are poor and cannot afford higher-priced items, and we that count every single cents...ok, fine, true to a certain extent...but does that entitle them to 'bully' us in such a way? in this case, the price displayed on the board is the price that customers are entitled to, not updating is the staffs problem?!)
...and another example of discrimination is that as a friend mentioned...(I never really realized until she mentioned...and indeed yes, it is like that many times)...whenever we go up the tram/bus, the driver would keep an eye on us and make sure we validate our tickets...and no one really prefer sitting with us Asians, sometimes even if it is crowded they'd rather stand...it makes you think that you probably have some contagious disease or something...and once, I being so blur, didnt even realize until this friend of mine alerted me, we were on the train, and a French lady sat diagonally opposite us, with her doggie, and I without much thinking touched the dog, and then my friend suddenly asked me to stop doing that and when I looked up, the French lady gave me an expression that probably meant: 'dont you dare touch my dog, you low status foreigners/Asians'...

...but these are still not as scary as some encounters i had, sometimes alone, sometimes with one/a few frens...where we were verbally harassed...phrases like ' you XXXXing asians...blah blah blah..'..during those moments you dont normally get angry because you are too afraid, wanting to escape as quick as possible...
...and because I look typically chinese/japanese/koreans, sometimes i get people following near behind my back and saying chinese phrases like '你好吗？' etc...i had two encounters where some young lads tagged really near behind me and keep repeating names of Japanese brands...and even children sometimes shouted words which I dont understand (Turkish)...once me and my friend from Kenya were walking to school (he's a big tall guy) and I think those children threw a stone or something at us, though my friend said it is probably accident (he is a super kind man)...all these are done by Turkish...Belgians (Flemish) never really do these kind of things...

...however, certainly there are also many nice experiences, despite those episodes of discrimination/harassment...for example, while visiting the Gravesteen (a castle near us in Gent) with my friend (also Malaysian Chinese), a French man initiated a conversation with us and praised us (lols:P)...and also as I am a super blur person and never possess proper direction sense, sometimes i walk around with my map looking very very lost, turning my map 360 degrees figuring out my direction, and some kind belgians would offer assistance...also had some nice experience when people would help us drag our heavy luggages down the train when we were travelling...and when we offer seats to some old people, they would thank us profusely... I hope that our little act of kindness sometimes would help change perception of Westerners towards us Asian/Chinese...and those with selfish act in mind, who avoid from doing anything that would endanger our reputation, as we are already bad in their eyes, well to some of them at least...

广告。。。令我想起。。。

睇到自己blog里面的 一些广告。。。令我想起，我的ｂａｔｃｈ（刚不久也知道我ｊｕｎｉｏｒ依个ｂａｔｃｈ也‘一样有’）有几个女生系好desperate０甘想（毕业后）留低系欧洲依道，不过想系道找工作说起来真的难得很。。。所以最‘好’的方法就是‘嫁’北当地人！我知道有个很‘琴青’。。。搞到用网上找对象的service．．．个位朋友仲send 0左个service 0既email比我，好似叫我也式下。。。天啊！我差d晕低！（我虽然亦好想留低，不过系为了系道工作。。。不是找鬼佬对象啦！；Ｐ　而且你问我的话我还是那句，我比较喜欢澳洲，华人在欧洲（除了英国）生活好似唔系0甘易，都系澳洲好。。。；Ｐ）．．．不过呢她们的‘琴青‘会给依道或者一般欧洲人咩感觉或印象呢？我就觉得人地会想：我地d亚洲女生真系cheap．．．连我都想到，难道那些人没想到？。。。咩人都0岩o甘。。系依道的男人就ok？．．．想到都觉得恐怖。。。！d values去0左边啊？