I need motivation!!!

hmmm...before I go on blabbering...
Carla, if you see this...thanks for visiting my blog...;-)

so yeah, passed 'love letter' to boss but he's trying to make me stay...
sighz...
but i am really so demotivated now i even feel like quitting the industry totally!!
feels like i am good for nothing...
it doesnt help at all that mum's worrying like mad..
and starting to nag already...
sighz...
but i really can't make myself to stay any longer!!!
feel so stressed out that my body is going havoc...my monthly matter is going havoc..not sure if it's the stress and worries causing that to go crazy...or that M and the hormone factor are actually driving me crazy...
but well jokes aside i really need to go and see a doctor for this...shouldnt joke around too much when the monthly business is not getting regular...argghhh...

apart from that now it's of coz the worries of my soon jobless period..wonder how long wud it last?...even big cos might not consider me for any QC function...malaysian based big cos i mean...people would probably think when they see my CV...master's degree?!...previous consultancy background?! is this person trying to fool around?! does she intend to stay long!? that kind of questions i think...well, I really hope that at this point of time i am thinking too much...but i really think there's rationale in this thinking...Ajinomoto and a few others I applied for, are not replying...NestlX said that there's nothing matching my capacity...so well...i am digging into others...pray hard...我会尽力 希望上天有安排吧！
stress stress stress...money and bills gonna go crashing into each soon...pray hard i get a job soon...but i dont want to make myself so desperate (it looked like i already made it so by now) that i start diving into anything that comes...this really shouldnt be the way...dont want to be simply grabbing anything and only later realize it's not anything i want...
sigh sigh sigh...>.<

and another sign of me in trouble.. i seemed to have forgotten to visit other blogs...so sorry...need to gather my pieces back...