Fight! Fight! Fight!

I am so damn stress!!!...yesterday got an email which stressed me so much..
...and to my unknown amount of debts...another RM50,000 is added to it...I didn't expect this amount, I would expect only half of it, RM25,000 at most...you may be so surprised and probably wondering: What?! you don't know how much money you borrowed?!...yes indeed I have no clear idea..my father handles things...and I wonder how much more debts which I don't know of, under my name...I can officially raise the estimated amount to RM300,000 maybe...I can prepare to jump off any building it seems...I have no idea how I would manage...I really don't know...I need a super paying job!!!!
...and mum urged me to go into serious job-hunting...because these debts will chase me like hell once I got home...my father is not handling them much as he promised everytime he try to get me to sign those loan applications..now he just ignore them because he doesn't have enough money to manage...and they are all debts under my name...you may think I am such a stupid idiot to let anyone use my name to borrow money...which I would admit, yes I am...but that's my father, I didn't know how to say 'no' to anyone, let alone my father!!...people say a pisces never say 'no' and so this is the consequence I guess...
...but I suddenly feel this urge to fight on (with job search)!! I dont know why but at least it's giving me some strength...from what I really have no idea...but it's good I guess...you have no idea how much I feel like dying yesterday (which is the case everytime I get any 'shock' about money issues) ...luckily there's something that always pull me through...thank god...