$$$...

dont really have the mood to type in chinese so shall do this one in english...
...got an email from kojadi...one of those stressful, make-u-go-crazy emails (labeled: reminder in BOLD) again....wonder how long my father didnt make any payment...the debt now amounts to RM6,900.. really stressful looking at those figures...but also at the same time managed to remain calm compared to the previous times...it's not the first time i encountered this kinda thing...still, dont know what to say...
if i'm lucky the total amount of whatever loans that i owed now is probably something just below RM200,000.00...if unlucky it might be more than that...i wonder if things will ever get better...i started realizing my family financial problem when i was 12...guess it was also then that things started to go really downhill...so funny because physically, we were in fact living on a hill before that...things have not been any better since...13 years of those sort of living will forced one to be much, much more mature...(my own opinion)...but certainly part of me still retain the childishness, part of me never want and will never grow up...glad that i had this kind of 'balance' if u may term it...otherwise i would have gone crazy long ago...
....and it also changed my way of looking at money...the comment that MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING is one I will never agree with...never...my best fren comforted me by saying that all these (money problem, family problem etc) made us stronger...but however strong one is, there's a limit i suppose? i dont know how long i can withstand these myself...i'm still alright now...just a bit tired...i need someone to help me, although i know this thinking is very selfish, everyone has their own problems and why should anyone (even if it's ur own sibling or family member) help me?
in fact i've been very lucky that my frens are still with me...unlike my father who hasn't many frens anymore, unlike when he was richer when we were younger...he had loads of frens then, but when he had no more money, almost everyone 'dumped' him...i hate money...